Indecision

I don’t know what I want. Career-wise, that is. The rigidity of corporate life isn’t for me. I also hate people getting ahead just because they talk a good talk and don’t feel any remorse for stepping on others to get ahead. It feels so wrong even to be getting used to it.

Except that I also want to achieve success…

Ideally, climbing the corporate ladder will be the path that I should be taking for a comfortable life. However, I feel suffocated in such jobs. Having to hold my tongue and acting all meek and ignorant. Ugh. I like my freedom and the corporate world does not offer much if that.

I’ve taken on many different roles, trying them on for size like they’re going to be my second skin, and I know what I like and don’t like. I like writing. I like the freedom that writing gives me. I like the challenges of PR. I like how it pushes people to their limits and maybe beyond. I hate that there’s no room for growth here in Singapore. Writers aren’t appreciated and it is all just because they do not bring in sales like marketing and direct sales do. It is a job that I like but cannot grow in. PR is a very demanding job. It comes with the challenges I relish and the annoyance of having to play politics in the office.

I have also tried being a teacher… Sometimes it’s extremely frustrating. Sometimes it’s really fulfilling. It will be a job that I can choose to keep, except that I tend to get too emotionally invested in everything. Students leave and fail all the time. It is hard to handle.

What can I do?

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