I’m going for F1

I’m going for F1 today!

Not that I really care about F1. I probably won’t recognize any of them even if they run me over. I’m going because Big Bang will be performing tonight.


Yay for Big Bang. Do I sound very unenthused about this? I adore Daesung but I’ve been sick for the past couple of days and I am saving up my energy for later.


Isn’t my daesungie cute?

Imagine, once upon a time, I shiver at the thought of squeezing with a horde of screaming lunatics (read: fangirls). Yet this year, I’ve attended three concerts already, all of them thumping rock concerts with screaming fans. There were so many awesome moments that it would have made 2013 a fantastically good year if not for my grandfather’s passing.


The white pick is MINE. J actually squatted down and placed it nicely into my waiting hand, to the shrieking jealousy of all the other girls around. How is that not fantastic? 🙂

I hope Big Bang later will be amazing. Never thought I’ll willingly subject myself to a few thousand fanatic fangirls but the future (present now) is indeed a place full of surprises.

I suppose I have my grandfather to thank. Yes, I think of him often enough that I can even relate fangirling to him. His passing left me with a lot of bitter regrets. Those regrets were nothing big, just little things like how I should have spent more time with him or visit that place with him, but it is also why they left such a bitter taste on my tongue. They were all little things that I could have easily done and should have done. What I’m doing now is what I should have done; living life with no regrets, trying out new things, venturing out of my comfort zone.

Maybe he’ll be proud of me…



Touchy subject, isn’t it?

I love touchy subjects. I especially love it when I bring up subjects that strike a nerve in those that I don’t like. I am all for fair play, if you want to hurt me, it’s only fair that I can do the same to you. I love it when they visibly bristle at an innocuous topic – like looks, because even they know that it’s horribly petty to be so eaten up by jealousy and yet they can’t help being petty.

But I digress.

Homophobia is almost a dirty word. How would you define it? Dictionary.com says it’s an unreasoning fear of or antipathy toward homosexuals and homosexuality. I prefer the wiki definition though: Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). It can be expressed as antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, or hatred, and may be based on irrational fear.

In my humble opinion, the degree can vary but as long as there is something negative, be it the attitude, opinion or action, it can and should be classified as homophobia. A while ago, someone I knew insisted that she could not find any gay guy hot. That’s fine, except that she also said that she would stop finding a hot guy hot if he turned out to be gay.


I’d say that hotness and sexuality have nothing to do with each other. I’m not that insecure in my sexuality that I can’t find a girl hot and I don’t think it’s right that someone is judged based on their sexuality. While many people are too scared of consequences to be overtly homophobic, because while they mortally offended, they value their own skin a little more than their beliefs, there are still too many people who are quietly homophobic. Case in point, the person I mentioned above.

Little things hurt. Words hurt. When I sit there with nowhere else to run, trying to ignore the poison spewing from her mouth, I can’t help but feel bad for the person she was bullying with her words.

“I can’t find him hot if he’s gay,” she said.

“He probably took it up the ass to get this job,” she said

They hurt and they hurt a lot. It isn’t fair to have to get used to slurs either so don’t tell me that people ought to ignore such bullying.

*censored* *censored* *censored*

So stupidity has levelled up into more stupidity. What am I talking about, you may ask, considering that this statement is sadly applicable to many, many, many things. Well, I am referring to the recent announcement on new Internet restrictions here in the lovely prison island of Singapore.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love my country. It’s the place I was born and raised in for 26 whole years after all. This, however, is just… wrong STUPID. The annoyance is like how I usually feel when my mum just wouldn’t understand that I hate girly colours and continue buying things for me in those colours. (I’m pretty sure it is easier to buy a black wallet than a purple one, right?) I love the mother to bits but she does have her moments where all I want to do was to pull out my hair at what she did.

Back to this new level of stupidity though, obviously people are getting upset over it, and it seems like local bloggers are getting upset. I would be too, if my livelihood depends on the Internet, my opinion (antagonistic and otherwise) and the government not giving any fucks about what I write about behind a veil of anonymity. Luckily, or is it unluckily, my opinion isn’t that interesting that people are paying money to write about them and the latest in our beloved government’s rapidly-growing list of screw-ups will not affect me much.

On a lighter note, the pre-caffeinated me was reading the news and misunderstood the whole 50,000 unique views per month part about the legislation, and I went ‘OMG, if this is going to become applicable to bloggers too, how am I going to chalk up 50,000 unique views to keep this blog?! DO I NEED TO POST NAKED PHOTOS OF MYSELF TO KEEP THIS BLOG RUNNING???’

Alright, I’ll admit that was a horribly bimbotic moment that I had there. I blame the lack of caffeine. *hangs head* And no, I will not post naked or even half-naked photos of myself.

Some things are better left untouched

The recent Dove commercial has gone viral, no doubt about it, although I have not seen it yet. The number of people sharing and gushing about it says a lot. Heck, it even got circulated in the office through official channels. From what I have seen, about 99.9% of the people talking about it are very positive in their opinion, with only one voice of dissent among all the sickening rainbow and puppies praises lavished on the commercial. I’m rather concerned about how that 99.9% is misinterpreting the commercial.

As far as I know and from what I’ve gathered from the comments I’ve seen, the commercial is about women being shown that they are their own worst critics, and that they are more beautiful than they think they are.

The full half of my glass says that boosting self-confidence is a good thing. After all I’ve suffered at the hands of insecure little girls, and they would have driven me to suicide if I was half as insecure as them, it’s good if they don’t exist. However, that’s another story for another day.

However, the empty half of my glass says that fuck this shit, Dove is screwing with the minds of yet another generation, because ultimately, the message that Dove is sending is BEAUTY IS FUCKING IMPORTANT SO YOU BETTER BE BEAUTIFUL OR YOU’RE NOTHING. “You are more beautiful than you think” is ultimately about not just beauty but mere physical beauty.

Does it tell women that what matters the most is who they are inside? Does it tell women that beauty is not just physical? No, it does not. It tells women that beauty is important and they are nothing without beauty.

And that, is only part of my problem with it.

My other problem is that this screwed up message promotes mediocrity. I, for one, am all for physical beauty. The desire for superficial beauty is ingrained in all of us, be it a nurtured or natural thing, and I am secure enough to admit that I desire beauty. Most people do. The Insanity Workout is proof with its popularity. The name alone suggests that there is something abnormal about putting the human body through it and yet people are signing up for it. It shows a twisted and desperate need to attain superficial beauty. The good thing about this is that it pushes people to improve and be better. Yes, it promotes superficiality but it doesn’t hurt that much when we are already superficial to begin with. Telling people that they are already good enough and there’s no need to do any more? That’s what gives us the unsightly fat rolls and fuck ugly faces.

Call me a superficial bitch if you want for voicing out an honest opinion but that is gross. Nobody wants to look at ugly things if they can help it.

Shallowness aside, I think it’s time people start thinking beyond the superficial, and decide for themselves what is really important. Being led by the nose isn’t a very attractive option to me but that may be just me. Dove should also try to aim for a more wholesome message or just plain stop trying to screw with impressionable minds. I certainly don’t need more brainwashed people trying their best to drive me to slit my wrists just because they’re insecure.

Just leave it alone. Some things are better left untouched.

The world we live in

I’m on a bus, traveling home, and it isn’t really something worth mentioning. It really isn’t, until I caught sight of the backpage headlines off the newspaper the old man sitting in front of me is reading, and I found that I really want to blog about this.

For a major paper, it is considered a top tier media just so you know, the news that the paper reports is somewhat of a lower standard than those official tabloids. I won’t name the paper in case I get sued (you never know!) but it’s one of the two Chinese evening papers. That is narrowed down enough, right?


So anyway, the headline screams ‘FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS ANNUAL SALARY TO QC PORN!’ I kid you not. Although, I have to admit, the tag line claiming that four thousand people applied had me gaping in disbelief. Come on, getting paid to watch porn and ONLY four thousand people applied?

My, my, aren’t we a horribly repressed society?

I bet that the number will have a few more zeros if it’s anywhere else but Singapore the land of the kiasu, rude and hum ji.


The thing about the bombing at Boston?

It’s disgusting. Questions such as how can people do this, why do they want to do this, always pop up when something horrifying happens. It’s disgusting just how some people, and I’m using the term people very loosely here, would go to such extent to attain their aim.


It is also, frankly, almost as vile how some people are just oozing sympathy and heartache because it’s the right thing to do and they just want to appear nice in front of others. Earlier in the day, the topic came up while I was at lunch, and every person present reacted to tragedy as expected. Disgust. Like duh. Three deaths and roughly 140 injured people; anybody would be disgusted at the cruelty. Right?

I couldn’t resist, I really couldn’t, so I very gently pointed out that Iraq also had an incident that was in fact even more horrifying with its higher death toll. The only response that I got was, “who cares about Iraq?”

Well, I do.

If Boston deserves our sympathy, why doesn’t Iraq merit the same ooey gooey feelings? A life is a life and is still a life in riches or poverty, and sickness or health. The people getting their lives ruined or cut short here are all civilians. They didn’t choose to engage in whatever sick arguments that resulted in the tragedies.

I was almost sickened by the thoughtless cruelty of such simple words. Almost. I didn’t have much appetite after that but I did eventually manage to choke down all of my awesome raisin baked rice that I had looked forward to the entire morning. The only reason why I didn’t feel bile at the back of my throat was the fact that most of the girls that I went to school with, are pretty much from the same cookie mold. Ugly.